1 - I am feeling very nervous about calling for help. Is there anything I can do about this?
If you choose to make contact with us, as trained professionals we will understand how uncomfortable it might feel for you to do so. If you prefer, you can email or write to us and we will be happy to help, and then if and when you feel ready, you can go further.
2 - I’m not sure whether my abuse as a child has really affected my life or not, as I am quite successful. What do you advise me to do?
It is not up to anybody else to judge you, or decide whether you should take up specialised help or not. A counsellor would never pressurise you to explore your past or have counselling unless you yourself felt inclined to do so.
3 – My partner and I are having difficulties in our relationship. It seems possible that my difficulties as a child have made me either angry, or ‘emotionally unavailable’ in the relationship at times. Is it possible that you could work with us as a couple?
Yes, it is possible as some of our counsellors are trained in couples work and would be able to offer you couples counselling, along with the ability to explore with insight how abuse can affect relational issues as an adult.
4 - My son and daughter will soon be seven years old, the age I was when I was abused. I am so worried about what might happen to them that I can’t get it out of my mind and I feel very insecure. What do you advise me to do?
As our counsellors are particularly skilled in child protection matters, counselling should help lessen your anxiety. There are conversations that you could have with your children ongoingly that could clarify matters, help reassure you, and help the family address the basic right of personal safety. Potentially, this may simultaneously help heal your sense of safety as well and set you on a healing journey of your own.
5 – I was abused by an elder sibling, and every time I see my family I just feel sick. How on earth can I tell my family about what happened? I cannot get my worries about the safety of the younger children in the family out of my mind.
It is a great deal to take on, to disclose about your abuse to your family. It may take weeks of counselling support to help you to decide what to do next, but gladly there are avenues of support. For the sake of the children’s safety the police may need to be informed, and that is why we are here, to support you and skilfully help you deal with the uncertainty of outcome so that you can make your own choices and forge a way forward for yourself.
6 – My siblings and I were all abused as children by a family friend, and we have fallen out over the years because of various reasons. Now, we would like to meet up and really get to grips with what has happened to us as a family – can you help?
Yes, we do offer family or systemic therapy as it is known. The therapy may be brief or it can take a few months to help heal the rifts between you as a family. In addition, you each may wish to have therapy separately as well with a different counsellor. All in all, our counsellors will have the insight to deal with the complexities of the situation.
7 - I am really worried about telling my wife about my abuse as a child. We are now both in our seventies and I have kept it from her for nearly fifty years, yet these days I can't think of anything but my childhood. She keeps asking me why I am so quiet. Should I tell her about it?
It is understandable that you feel uneasy with this on your mind, yet it is important that it is your decision to do as you feel right. Talking to a skilled counsellor could well be enough, whereby afterwards you may not still feel the need to tell her. Either way, you will not be judged by your counsellor, who will be there to help you to decide the best thing for you, and offer you counselling support as you progress through these difficult feelings.